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domingo, abril 22

A cambada, José Eduardo Agualusa

Gosto do Agualusa. Da forma como escreve, do seu humor, ironia, sarcasmo.
Hoje, ao ler, na revista Pública, a sua coluna, não consegui, a certa altura, deixar de escapar uma sonora gargalhada, fazendo com que as pessoas que estavam no café ficassem a olhar para mim.
Acho que este texto deve ser lido, por isso aqui fica:

No dia em que esta crónica for publicada deverão estar reunidos em Lisboa representantes de vários grupos europeus de cabeças rapadas. Alguns destes grupos, e em particular aquele que convidou os restantes, só existem na exacta medida em que os seus críticos, criticando-os, lhe dão existência. Com esta crónica também eu estarei a propiciar visibilidade a uma insignificância. Faço-o, contudo, movido mais pelo riso do que pela revolta, convicto de que por muita atenção que os jornais lhe dêem tal grupo há-de ser sempre merecedor de atenção nenhuma. Merecem, no máximo, a atenção da polícia, enquanto arruaceiros ou pequenos assassinos cobardes.
Um tronco não deixa de ser um simples tronco, assegura um velho provérbio africano, por muito tempo que fique mergulhado na água: não, nunca se transformará em jacaré. O tronco em causa julga-se um jacaré. Alguns observadores julgam-no um jacaré. Acho a presunção ridícula, e não dramática, na medida em que não lhe vejo os dentes. Olho-o com atenção e vejo apenas um tronco. Um pequeno tronco patético, equivocado e insignificante. Sei que jamais terá dentes, dentes autênticos, e por isso olho para ele, ali aos gritos, "vejam, sou um jacaré!", e rio-me.
Não acredito que a extrema direita possa crescer em Portugal, como tem vindo a acontecer noutros países europeus, porque para que isso acontecesse seria necessário em primeiro lugar voltar atrás no tempo e refazer toda a história da Península Ibérica. Convém recordar, as vezes que for necessário, que Portugal e a Espanha são o resultado da colonização romana, somada a uma longa colonização africana, através dos árabes, e depois à presença de populações vindas de muitos portos que as caravelas alcançaram. Os árabes não foram expulsos. Ficaram em Portugal, cristianizaram-se e misturaram-se com a restante população. Os africanos trazidos para trabalhar nos campos, ou para servir nas cidades, também nunca regressaram aos seus territórios de origem. Foram para a cama com as portuguesas e fizeram-lhes filhos. Imensos filhos, graças a Deus, e todos eles muito mulatinhos (1). Os actuais portugueses descendem, na generalidade, desse anárquico e festivo e maravilhoso encontro de sangues e culturas. Eis que, acolá, nasce um menino com a tez mais escura. Outro, ali, expõe à clara luz do dia uma inequívoca carapinha. Em certas aldeias a população inteira revela singular resistência à malária. A própria língua trai, a cada frase, a origem de quem a fala. Dizemos minhoca e é nhoca, a cobra, que estamos a recordar em quimbundo. A mesma coisa acontece ao dizermos cambada, palavra que vem de camba, amigo, ou cachimbo, ou carimbo, ou caçula, entre tantas outras, e isto para ficar apenas pelo quimbundo, porque poderia ainda trazer a terreiro a contribuição dos africanos árabes, arriscando-me com isso a ocupar a revista inteira e a fatigar os meus leitores.
Poucas coisas unem a extrema direita europeia para além do ódio à mestiçagem - e negar a mestiçagem é, evidentemente, negar Portugal. Começo a rir (às gargalhadas) neste ponto: temos então um partido português que se diz nacionalista enquanto combate a ideia de Portugal. Temos uma meia dúzia de indivíduos que convidam a visitar Lisboa a mesma cambada, permitam-me a quimbundagem, que persegue indefesos imigrantes portugueses pelas ruas de Berlim, de Paris ou de Viena. Ponho-me a imaginar o que dirá um cabeça rapada português a um cabeça rapada alemão: "Bate-me mais, oh pásinho, bate-me lá que eu gosto!".
Talvez na opinião desta gente um português emigrado já não seja exactamente um português. Um português no estrangeiro há-de ser, aos olhos de um cabeça rapada português - um estrangeiro! E um estrangeiro merece apanhar. Pensarão por certo que imigrante é uma espécie de nacionalidade, um natural de Imigra, seja lá onde for que fique Imigra, República Popular, provavelmente em África. Sendo assim passa a ser possível expulsar, por exemplo, os angolanos radicados em Portugal. Se o governo angolano decidir retaliar não terá como pois, vendo bem, não existem imigrantes portugueses em Angola. O que há é Imigrantes. "Mandem-nos para Imigra", dirão os carecas, "República Popular, seja lá onde isso for, que nós por cá todos bem".
Que me perdoem os meus amigos do SOS-Racismo. Não lhes atirem pedras (coitadas das pedras). Atirem-lhes gargalhadas.


(1) Sublinhado meu (parte onde dei a forte gargalhada)

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